Very, very upset just doesn’t cover it…
August 5, 2008 
How are you supposed to feel when your best friend suddenly has to leave for Florida for a month… and tells you she’s not sure if she’s coming back.
Very, very upset just doesn’t cover it.
Suddenly everything you pass while driving down back and forth to work takes on special meaning — oh, we ate at that place once, hey, we had a serious conversation about the future in her car in that parking lot — and almost everything you see seemingly had a connection to past or future plans.
And all of it makes you very, very upset.
Because you had plans… We were going to go to the beach, we meant to check out some cool place or another. It would have been fun to do this, we had tickets to some baseball games this and next month.
But as of Monday, she’s gone. She suddenly just won’t be around anymore. And when did I find out this news? A week, week-and-a-half ago. The shock still hasn’t subsided, but she’s leaving and then what?
Yes, its really about her. She’s changing her whole life and leaving everything she knows to travel down to Florida. It must be incredibly hard to uproot yourself like that and just go without really having much of a choice.
But its going to totally change my life as well. How can I not react to that? How can I not be more than very, very upset?
Since we reconnected after 8 years apart, she’s been there to offer advice on life, on clothes, on what to do on a boring weekday night. And now that’s supposed to last through several states and not seeing each other for who knows how long? I always try to be optimistic about things, but I also have a darker, cynical side… and that side has taken over in the past few days.
It really is devastating. Its like losing someone you really care about… except they’re not dying, just sorta disappearing.
Its confusing and sad and ridiculous all at the same time.
Sure, she’s just going for the month to see how it is. Or to get settled, whatever the case may really be.
And then when it works out great, she’ll be gone for good? That doesn’t make it any better, really.
Maybe I could move down there too. That would be great for both of us. That would be an interesting adventure…
I’ve never been a fan of reality, but what are the odds that that could work out? Its hard to say, and even thinking about that just adds to the sadness.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I wish I knew the right way to react. I can only be more than very, very upset…
…and hope things somehow work out for the best.
