Liveblogging the 79th Annual Academy Awards

Its Oscar night! Time for CityCynic.com presents Liveblogging the 79th Annual Academy Awards…

8:30 — A whimsical opening featuring nominees’ thoughts on winning an Oscar.

8:36 — And here’s our host, Ellen DeGeneres! This year they’re saluting the nominees and not just the winners! Record nominations for Mexico, Spain is in the house, and Japan is representing! “No one can fill a seat like an American, huh?” Ellen rags on Peter O’Toole’s 0-7 Oscar losing streak. Ellen points out Jennifer Hudson who America didn’t vote for and Al Gore, who America did vote for! Such diversity in the room… especially Steve Carell. “If there weren’t Blacks, Jews, and Gays, there would be no Oscars. Or, or.. anyone named Oscar.” Ellen joins a Gospel choir to really celebrate the nominees!

8:44 — Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig present Best Art Direction to Pan’s Labyrinth.

8:48 — Maggie Gylenhaal presented the Scientific and Technical Awards earlier.

8:49 — Several people’s silhouttes tumble to form an Oscar statuette. And we get to see tonight’s announcers, including that guy that does virtually every Coming Attractions movie commercial voiceover.

8:53 — Will Ferrell sings about a comedian at the Oscars… and there’s Jack Black, too! They’re going to beat up all the nominees… except Mark Walberg, cause he’s “pretty badass.” And now John C. Reilly joins the performance from the seats! “Helen Mirren and an Oscar will be coming home with me!” The trio present Achievement in Makeup to Pan’s Labyrinth.

8:59 — Abagail Breslin and Jayden Smith present Best Animated Short Film to The Danish Poet.

9:03 — And they also present Best Live Action Short Film to West Bank Story. The director explains that the shorts help directors without studio backing get noticed.

9:06 — And now a Clint Eastwood Letters from Iwo Jima montage.

9:11 — Ellen makes some corrections from earlier. And now there’s the Elements and Motion Choir doing sound effects for famous film clips. What is going on?!? That was weird.

9:14 — Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear present Best Sound Editing to Letters From Iwo Jima. Steve Carell: “Sound editing is like sex: done alone, late at night, and surrounded by electronic gadgets.” The winner’s father was a survivor from Iwo Jima.

9:17 — James McEvoy and Jessica Biel (ugly pink dress!!!) present Best Sound Mixing to Dreamgirls. The winner is from a sound mixing family.

9:20 — Rachel Wiez (looking amazing!) presents Best Supporting Actor to Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine). He’s the second winner to break the no reading rule, but it was the first emotional speech of the night.

9:25 — Ellen works the aisle and talks to Mark Wahlberg (who brags about using her personal bathroom) and manages to hand Martin Scorsese a screenplay that she says is a combination of Goodfellas and Big Mommas House called “Good Mommas.”

9:27 — Pilobolus (a new age dance theatre troupe) thrills us with their rolling around and forming silhoutte shapes like penguins.

9:29 — A montage about The Departed and Martin Scorsese’s directing.

9:31 — James Taylor and Randy Newman sing “Our Town” from the movie Cars.

9:33 — Melissa Etheridge performs “I Need to Wake Up” from An Inconvenient Truth. She always comes across as very passionate in what she is singing, which is fitting for a song from this movie.

9:36 — Leonardo DiCaprio and Al Gore say this is the first green Academy Awards. They cut to Jerry Seinfeld in the crowd. Leo praises Al Gore’s work in fighting global climate change and needles him about making a “major announcement” tonight. Oh wait, Gore is about to announce something… darn it the orchestra played him off before getting a chance to finish what he was going to say. Al Gore is really funny these days!

9:42 — Ellen is recycling some of her jokes because the show is green this year. Why is Cameron Diaz presents Best Animated Feature to Happy Feet.

9:46 — Ben Affleck presents a montage of writers’ portrayals throughout 7 decades of films.

9:48 — Helen Mirren and Tom Hanks present Best Adapted Screenplay to The Departed. Making Helen Mirren read the entire title to Borat was pretty funny. The winner gives a nice shoutout to Peter O’Toole.

9:59 — Ellen’s back with an Oscar-on-board hands-free statuette holder she’s modeling.

10:00 — Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway pretend they are still in character from A Devil Wears Prada with Meryl Streep in the audience. Actors wearing the costumes from the nominated films get their 15 minutes of fame. And they present the Best Costume Design to Marie Antoinette. She is happy to get “this doll” and is also “very frightened” to be here.

10:05 — Tom Cruise presents the Humanitarian Award to Sherry Lansing for her work for cancer research and the Red Cross. Wow, that was a truly moving tribute.

10:10 — Ellen’s back in the aisles and says hi to Clint Eastwood, who thanks her for the headset she apparently sent to him years ago. But he’s jealous she doesn’t have a script for him. But Ellen isn’t there for that. She actually wants to get a photo with him for MySpace and she asks Steven Spielberg to take it for her!

10:11 — Gwenyth Paltrow mentions YouTube as she presents Best Cinematography to Pan’s Labyrinth.

10:15 — Pilobolus is back to recreate the minibus scene from Little Miss Sunshine. I’m soooo glad they’re here tonight.

10:20 — Naomi Watts and Robert Downey, Jr. present Best Achievement in Visual Effects to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.

10:23 — Catherine Deneuve and Ken Watanabe present an “impressionistic look” at 50 foreign language films.

10:29 — Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett present Best Foreign Language Film to The Lives of Others (Germany).

10:32 — Ellen’s back and she’s doing hand silhouettes and then she gets attacked by snakes that become the Snakes on a Plane logo, courtesy of Pilobolus.

10:33 — George Clooney presents Best Supporting Actress to Jennifer Hudson (Dream Girls). Hudson is overcome and crying: “I didn’t think I would win. Look what God can do.”

10:40 — A look at the story behind Babel. Some actors whose names I didn’t catch and who don’t look familiar present Best Documentary Short Subject to The Blood of Yinghzou District.

10:44 — Jerry Seinfeld makes fun of his documentary Comedian, does some quality stand-up material and presents Best Documentary Feature to An Inconvenient Truth! I knew they could do it! The filmmaker says he was inspired by Gore’s “30-year fight to tell this truth.” Al Gore accepts the award in the name of fighting global climate change.

10:50 — Clint Eastwood presents a tribute to the scoring of Ennio Morricone. And then Celine Dion appears to sing the world premiere of “I Knew I Loved You.” And Clint does a good job translating the recipient’s Italian-language acceptance speech.

11:06 — Hugh Jackman and Penelope Cruz present Best Original Score to Babel. The announcer tells us that the composer’s goal was that the music not sound like it was from a National Geographic documentary.

11:09 — Ellen’s back and she’s cracking up Jack Nicholson. Academy President Sid Gannus gets 60 seconds to tell everything about the Academy, so they put him on fast-forward so that it was actually entertaining.

11:11 — Kirsten Dunst and Tobey McGuire present Best Original Screenplay to Michael Arndt for Little Miss Sunshine. The announcer tells us that the screenwriter had to quit his job as Matthew Broderick’s assistant to write this script.

11:15 — Pilobolus does a tribute to A Devil Wears Prada.

11:20 — Jennifer Lopez presents the stars of Dreamgirls to perform songs from the film. Sing it, Jennifer Hudson and Beyonce! The performance is so good, I might actually have to go see Dreamgirls…

11:27 — John Travolta and Queen Latifah present Best Original Song to Melissa Etheridge (An Inconvenient Truth). Etheridge: “Wow, that feels as good as you think it does… Caring about the Earth is not Republican or Democrat — its not red or blue, we’re all green.” She thanked Al Gore for his inspiration.

I think we’re running over tonight…

11:34 — A montage look at Little Miss Sunshine, voice-overed by Steve Carell.

11:35 — Will Smith presents Michael Mann’s look at America through it’s movies montage.

11:40 — Kate Winslett presents Best Film Editing to Thelma Schoonmaker for The Departed. She’s is so grateful to Martin Scorsese: “Its the best film school in the world.”

11:44 — Jodie Foster introduces the In Memoriam montage of those we lost this year, including Jane Wyatt, Don Knotts, Red Buttons, Maureen Stapleton, James Doohan, Peter Boyle, Jack Palance, and Robert Altman.

11:51 — Ellen is ready to rap the show, but then she’s told there are several more awards to give out. Philip Seymour Hoffman presents Best Actress in a Leading Role to Helen Mirren (The Queen).

11:56 — Pilobolus recreates a shooting gun from The Departed. You know, maybe they could have cut some time off the show tonight if Pilobolus stayed home?

12:01 — Ellen’s vacuuming the front row as part of her hosting duties and finds paper on the floor: “Somebody dropped their rolling papers”. Reese Witherspoon presents Best Actor in a Leading Role to Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland). He started acting to connect to other people. Definitely the most moving speech of the night.

12:07 — Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, and George Lucas present Best Director to Martin Scorsese (The Departed)!!! Yes!!! He gets a standing ovation. Scorsese: “Could you doublecheck the envelope?… I’m so moved.” He thanked everyone who told him he deserved an Oscar all these years. It was nice to see him embrace Jack Nicholson as he walked off the stage.

12:12 — A look at The Queen. Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson present Best Picture to The Departed! Nicholson presented the award to the producer of the film he was in. The producer loves Leonardo DiCaprio.

12:16 — Ellen says goodnight.

Wow, that went waaaaaay long. The Departed killed (how appropriate) and Martin Scorsese finally won! Next year, less Pilobolus and less Celine Dion, please.

Thanks for joining me for another episode of awards night liveblogging at CityCynic.com! See you in the movies!