Liveblogging the 49th Annual Grammy Awards

It’s that time of the year again: GRAMMY time! Anthony here at CityCynic.com, blogging it live! It’s the 49th Annual Grammy Awards!

8:00 — They reunited The Police! Fans of the 80’s can now rejoice!

8:04 — Jamie Foxx makes some jokes that would have worked better on BET, according to him. Like the one about how Snoop Dogg fled the scene when he heard The Police were opening the show. There’s Samuel L. Jackson and Carrie Underwood in the audience!

*Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals: Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder, “For Once in My Life”.

8:07 — Stevie originally did this song at the age 17. He dedicated the song to his late mother. Tony dedicated the song to his “best sponsor: Target”… Yikes! Tony Bennett is a sell out? Heh.

8:09 — Joan Baez introduces The Dixie Chicks. Good performance — could they have fit any more people on the stage?

8:18 — Ack! Two Prince sightings in one week? Oh good, he only has one word to say: Beyonce. Wow, I’ve never seen anyone so sparkly in HD! From her earrings to her lips to her dress to her sparkly shoulders!

8:21 — The Black Eyed Peas tell us about Booker T. & The MG’s, one of the first interracial groups. They get the Lifetime Achievement Award.

*Best R&B Album: Mary J. Blige, “The Breakthrough”

8:23 — Its cool how they replay the winner’s reaction on the big screen above the stage while they’re First God thank you! Mary is emotionally overcome. “It shows I am growing into a better human being.”

8:26 — Queen Latifah is here to tell us about the Grammy & Me contest. Wow, those 3 unknown singers are all super beautiful. One of them will sing with Justin Timberlake later in the show. You can vote now before 10PM EST at CBS.com for Africa Miranda, Brenda Radney, or Robyn Troup.

8:33 — Justin Timberlake introduces himself via a taped piece and then performs. He’s singing while playing the piano, cool. Timberlake picks up a video camera with a light and aims it towards his face. Whoa, weird handheld camera closeup on Justin! I’m getting dizzy…

8:38 — Oops, a couple of audio problems have the taped announcer voice talking over the live announcer. Here come Pink and T.I. to present The Doors with a Lifetime Achievement Award.

*Best Female R&B Vocal Performance: Mary J. Blige, “Be Without You”

8:40 — Mary J. Blige: “Praise you Father, thank you Jesus.” “Its in the valley where we realize who we really are… and its in the peak that we realize who we really are, too, as a celebrity.” Mary, you lost me at “peak.”

8:46 — Stevie Wonder “loves being right” and he loves the 11 Grammy total combined power of Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend, and John Mayer. Lyrics include: “It seems the wars will never end.” That’s a cool trio of performers — good combination! Ooh, they’re performing two songs!

8:56 — Nellie Furtado, Natasha Beddingfield, and that chick from the Pussycat Dolls (the lead singer?) present.

*Best Pop Vocal Album: John Mayer, “Continuum”

8:58 — John Mayer is nervous and he blanks out on who to thank, but he’s grateful. Remember, you can still vote for the My Grammy Moment contest winner at CBS.com! How come they don’t include the womens’ names when they tell you how to vote via text message? Can’t anyone rip-off American Idol correctly?

9:05 — Shakira and Wyclef Jean perform “Hips Don’t Lie”! Too bad she was singing before they cut back from commercial. Wow, look at those hips… they don’t lie! Wooo! Now this is a first Grammy performance! Wyclef: “Move the crowd just like Obama.” How’s that for a topical political lyric? Heh.

9:08 – Burt Bacharach and Seal present. Herb Alpert and Jerry Moss of A&M Records receive the President’s Merit Award to Industry Icons. Burt takes over the show to request colloborating on a song with Seal, as that pesky announcer tries to talk over him.

*Song of the Year: The Dixie Chicks, “Not Ready to Make Nice”

9:11 – The Dixie Chicks are overwhelmed. Natalie Maine: “I, for the first time in my life, are speechless!”

9:18 – Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders (How I Met Your Mother) present a Lifetime Achievement Award to The Grateful Dead.

9:20 — Gnarls Barkley performs a remixed “Crazy” in airplane pilot uniforms! And a mini-orchestra! And the most backup singers ever on a stage at one time!

9:24 — Common and Kanye West are comedians all of a suddent.

*Best Rap Album: Ludacris, “Release Therapy”

9:25 — Ludacris: “You’re telling me the only thing I had to do to win this was cut my hair?” Now that is ludicrous! Ludacris: “Special shoutout to Oprah and a special shoutout to Bill O’Reilly. I love you!” Oh, now that was definitely a dig!

9:33 — Terrance Howard presents the Lifetime Achievement Award to the late opera singer Maria Callas.

9:35 — Terrance Howard: “We are in the presence of true musical royalty, Mary J. Blige.” Mary J. Blige performs in a sparkly silver dress. That’s a cool MJB logo on the wall behind her. She has orchestra backing her up, but where are those backup singers hiding? Oh, there they are. Now that was a passionate performance!

9:38 — Mandy Moore, Leanne Rhymes, and Luke Wilson present, complete with audio problems.

*Best Country Album: The Dixie Chicks, “Taking the Long Way”

9:41 — Natalie Maines: “Well to quote the great Simpsons, ‘Ha-Ha!’”

9:48 — Reba McEntire presents by discussing Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys and The Eagles and Don Henley. Is anyone else here confused. Oh, here’s a tribute performance to Bob Wills by Carrie Underwood, “My Rose of San Antone.” And now Rascal Flatts perform a tribute to The Eagles by singing “Hotel California.” A country band honoring a rock band? Pretty cool… plus they donned leather jackets to seem more rockin’.

9:54 — And Carrie Underwood is back to sing “Desperado.” Does anyone know what’s happening here? All I can think of is that Seinfeld episode where Elaine is singing “Desperado”! Heh. Okay, now we’re back to Rascal Flatts with Carrie Underwood performing The Eagles’ “Life In The Fast Lane”.

10:00 — Natalie Cole presents the Lifetime Achievement Award to jazz legend Ornett Coleman, who presents Best New Artist. Imogen Heap has some plant growing in her hair.

*Best New Artist: Carrie Underwood

10:02 — Carrie Underwood: “I owe everything to Simon Fuller.” Well, that is true.

10:08 — Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci present. Jackson: “For your comfort and safety, I will handle the rhythm and Christina can handle the blues.”

10:09 — Smokey Robinson performs. Did he always have gray eyes? And there’s Lionel Richie on piano to perform.

10:13 — Chris Brown somehow slides down a staircase and starts performing with a step troupe while wearing a sequined mask. And now he’s back to singing. Two little kids were propelled from the audience pit and started break dancing! Go Shorties! Go Shorties! Oops, they jumped back into the pit! Now that was funny! Chris Brown just did a backflip by running and jumping off a trampoline! Best performance is so far!

10:17 — Christina Aguilera rises from the stage to perform a James Brown classic. Wow, what a tribute! She’s really getting into this! Jamie Foxx approves of her performance from the seats with a smirk.

10:25 — The Recording Academy president figured out a way to make his segment interesting… with a short performance by two public school musicians — a violinist and a piano player, who got celebrities to sign his piano. Support music and the arts in your public schools!

10:28 — The annual “In Memoriam” segment. Capped off with a nice tribute to James Brown.

10:37 — Rihanna and David Spade present. Wow, Rihanna should win for best dressed! She’s hot! Ludacris, Mary J. Blige, and Earth, Wind, and Fire perform together. Here come lots of kids with candles.

10:43 — James Blunt performs “You’re Beautiful.” (Anyone notice they haven’t awarded a Grammy since 10:00?) Another technical error! A message on the bottom of the screen appears over James Blunt’s face that says: PREVIOUSLY RECORDED. VOTING HAS ENDED. And the microphones are emitting some bad feedback.

10:46 — Stephen Sondheim, Estelle Axton, and Cosimo Matassa are Academy Trustee Award Nominees. Weirdly enough,

10:52 — Jennifer Hudson presents the My Grammy Moment winner, Robyn Troup, who performs “Ain’t No Sunshine” and “My Love” with Justin Timberlake. Robyn Troup was nervous at first, but really got into it for “My Love”! Now T.I. came out on stage to sing along. How amazing is this for her?!? Looks like she’s found her confidence. Are you sure this girl never performed on an awards show before?

10:58 — Tony Bennett and Quentin Tarantino present. Tarantino really sends up Bennett. But the best is seeing Tony Bennett doing the dancing moves from Pulp Fiction! Quentin Tarantino definitely wins the award for most enthusiastic presenter! It sounded like he channeled boxing announcer Michael Buffer to announce the nominees.

*Record of the Year: The Dixie Chicks, “Not Ready to Make Nice”

11:08 — Chris Rock presents with a “D*** in a Box” Justin Timberlake joke. The Red Hot Chili Peppers perform. Confetti! Pretty mellow song though.

11:13 — Al Gore and Queen Latifah present. Queen Latifah: “Do you hear that? I think they love you.”

*Best Rock Album: Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Stadium Arcadium”

11:16 — Man, Flea is weird. But, we do need more rock bands, I agree.

11:24 — Don Henley and Scarlett Johansson present.

*Album of the Year: The Dixie Chicks, “Taking the Long Way”

11:26 — Natalie Maines is happy people are using their voice and celebrating free speech through their music, the way “this loudmouth once did.”

Thanks for joining me for another CityCynic.com Liveblogging Event! Hope you enjoyed my play-by-play. Overall, this year’s show was pretty good, especially with that “My Grammy Moment”contest. See you next time for more liveblogging fun!

ALSO: Here’s the official Grammy winners list.