Sharing the Christmas Spirit
December 17, 2005 
Just when I was starting to get into the Christmas spirit — I set up my new Martha Stewart pre-lighted tree and started my Christmas shopping — I went and turned on the news.
Big mistake. I was greeted by the 12 10 Distractions from Christmas…
1) Bush Says He Ordered Domestic Spying: And you thought the Patriot Act was an infringment on civil rights!
2) Bush attacks paper for jeopardizing national security: Talk about adding insult to injury. Bush spies illegally and then blames the messenger.
3) Howard Stern says goodbye to terrestrial radio: Millions of fans have to add Sirius Satellite Radio to their Christmas lists.
4) “West Wing” Star’s Sudden Death: Jon Spencer made Donald Rumsfeld look like the one doing the impression. He was that good. RIP.
5) NY transit, union divided: The only thing better than a city overrun by tourists determined to see a big Christmas tree is a city overrun by said tourists stranded all over the place because of a transit strike.
6) Robert Novak Leaving CNN to Join Fox News: After uttering that expletive on CNN in August, of course he was going to leave. What a Grinch! Oh wait, this one’s actually good for everyone’s Christmas spirit.
7) Colin Powell: U.S. Will Stay in Iraq for Years: It’s hard to have a Merry Christmas when you think of all the soldiers overseas who won’t be having one… this year or the next few years.
John Mayer calls Kanye West ‘A little woman’: Someone’s desperate to get dissed in a rap song. See what happens when Eminem stops making new songs?
9) ‘Butt buses’ ignite Edmonton furor: With a headline like that, how could you not get distracted from Christmas? Man, smokers are desperate. Look for NYC Butt Buses this spring.
10) Drunken Santas run riot in Auckland: Nice way to spread the holiday spirit — with rampaging, robbing Santas.
Not everything was bad, however. I did help a woman and her daughter load a bookshelf onto their cart at Walmart. They were so happy, since they couldn’t motivate any employees to help them. I wished them a Merry Christmas, too, but I think they might have been Jewish. She wished me “Happy Holidays!“… Oh well.
December 18th, 2005 at 2:04 PM
Awesome! Damn good list, I can’t even think of anything to add right off the top of my head.