Tonight I saw STOMP at the Orpheum Theater on Second Ave. It was through a school trip my sister’s college sponsored. Free cramped coach bus included!

I’ll spare you a lengthy recap of the show, since I’m convinced everyone else has seen it already. But it essentially went like this: SWEEP, SLAM, HIT, BASH, CRINKLE, BAM, BOOM, CLAP, STOMP, which is sort of what I was expecting.

It was entertaining, but I wasn’t sure what the point was to it all. At least when I saw Blue Man Group perform there was a semi-plot (and a better beat). I guess STOMP could use a bit more audience interaction than just “clap-after-me”.

And compared to the high-flying De La Guarda extravaganza, which I saw twice, the swinging belay (climbing harness) banging on hubcabs part of the show was pretty weak.

For dinner, there was a bit of a disagreement of where to eat, so I headed towards Thai food. But, alas, my favorite Thai restaurant, Siam Lemon Leaf Thai Restaurant was now a new Thai fusion (what’s the difference?) restaurant.

I was still planning to eat there, but three flying insects on the menu in the window later (is that what fusion meant?) we sought out the closest Thai alternative, Basil, which is now my new favorite. They were super polite and their Pad Thai was delicious!

STOMP! CRASH! BANG!

I’m not about glorifying often short-lived celebrity relationships (with the exception of certain popstars, I must admit). But when I found out yesterday, through Rosie O’Donnell’s blog, oddly enough, that the lovely Katie Holmes started dating Tom Cruise, I couldn’t go without saying a couple of things.

In the interest of full disclosure, I used to date have long had a crush on Katie Holmes and have seen her in person at assorted TV show tapings.

That being said, I can personally attest that the former Dawson’s Creek star is not only tall, but beautiful, and just lovely in every way. Tom Cruise, also a good-looking celebrity, I hear, is 16 years older than Holmes. That’s a little too much, isn’t it?

Plus, Cruise already got to my other long-time crush, the multi-talented actress Penelope Cruz and screwed things up with Nicole Kidman.

Needless to say, I wish this whole bit of news was a tabloid hoax, but, alas, it is not:

Hollywood stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are in a relationship, their publicists have confirmed.

Holmes, 26, of TV show Dawson’s Creek and films Wonder Boys and Phone Booth, is 16 years younger than Cruise. The Mission Impossible and Top Gun star, 42, split from Penelope Cruz last year.

He was previously married to actresses Nicole Kidman and Mimi Rogers. He and Holmes were spotted together in Rome, where he will get an award on Friday. […]

He went on to date actress Cruz for three years, splitting with her in March 2004.

Holmes recently split with American Pie actor Chris Klein, calling off their engagement after five years together.

On the bright side of things, this all but confirms that Holmes and her former fiancee Chris Klein are definitely over. But, Katie Holmes deserves better.

Or maybe, she’s just using her celebrity to have some fun with a Hollywood heartthrob. That could explain it and there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it then, except that he’s 42!

Either way, Katie, I’ll be here if you ever want to date within the highly-intelligent part of the non-celebrity realm… Give me a call!

Some celebrities blog. I get it. Blogs aren’t limited to non-celebrities only, of course.

But please, celebrities, if you choose to share your wisdom or your commentary or even what you ate for lunch in the form of a blog, only do so if you actually know how to write!

This brings me to a new segment at CityCynic.com: Today in Rosie O’Donnell’s blog:

April 27, 2005:

i did access hollywood today
after leno
and had a huge flop sweat
we had to stop taping twice
to powder me down
aging is such fun

if one more person tells me i am too young
to be in menopause
i’m gonna implode

my tommy has a new babe
katie holmes - who is a great actress
she did a movie with
patricia clarkson
i can’t remember the name
but she was amazing in it
he looks happy
and that makes me happy

Yikes! Writing in short, non-sentences like Moby, but about getting all sweaty and what “my tommy” Cruise is up to is a total misuse of the blogging format. I’m sorry. I realize there are no rules when it comes to blogging, but Rosie has gone too far.

It’s a shame, too, since 1) I know Rosie O’Donnell has the capability to write in sentences and 2) Her blog is based on Wordpress and actually functions, unlike most celebrity blogs.

Rosie, you’re great and all, but please start blogging in sentences, even if its about you going through menopause.

I’m sure you heard that Pres. Bush met with Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Abdullah Monday to discuss the possibility of Saudi Arabia expanding oil production.

But did you see the photos of Bush and Abdullah walking around holding hands? Sure, that’s a custom in the Middle East, but come on — that footage is just begging for a role in Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 sequel.

And of course, Dave Pell from Electablog doesn’t miss a beat in parodying the handholding occasion by crossing it with dating site eHarmony:

Oil: The Lubrication of Love and Life.

When you’re ready to find the love of your life.

See why oHarmony is the fastest growing relationship site on the web. Think your views on torture and religious fanaticism are too humanistic? Can’t see yourself trading in the Texas belt buckle for a royal robe? Take our free personality test and you’ll soon learn there’s nothing about a relationship that can’t be solved at the pump.

Add in the pictures and it’s hilarious! Check out oHarmony.

The Janet Jackson nipple fallout. ABC stations scared of airing Saving Private Ryan. Howard Stern switching from regular radio to Sirius satellite radio. The Family Guy is forced to blur out a cartoon character’s rear end.

What do these things have in common? They were all caused by the questionable rulings and fines of the FCC. And the general public has noticed, according to a recent poll…

FCC Not Doing ‘Decent’ Job, Says Poll:

The Federal Communications Commission is doing a poor job of enforcing anti-indecency standards on TV, said more than one-half of adults polled on behalf of industry watchdog Morality in Media. […]

According to the poll, 53% responded that the the FCC was doing either a very poor job (33%) or somewhat poor job (20%). 41% said the FCC was doing either a very good job (15%) or somewhat good job (26%). The poll was conducted from April 1st through 4th, 2005 and has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.1 percentage points at a 95 percent confidence level.

So there you have it. Proof that Jeff Jarvis isn’t the only one decrying the FCC’s actions. More than half of adults think the FCC is a joke, too.

If you were delighted by yesterday’s post about free MP3s from Amazon.com and downloaded the exclusive Moby B-Side “Quiet Pianos,” then you’ll probably like this.

Moby is offering another free b-side MP3 called “So Much Feeling” at his cafe Teany’s site. Just go over to Teany.com/vip to get it.

And if you haven’t heard Moby’s new album, Hotel, you should. It’s good.

Amazon.com has a page of free mp3 downloads that they offer as promos for CD’s they sell.

There are dozens of perfectly good mp3s there for you to download, legally I might add, which is pretty cool!

Some songs there right now include:
– Moby “Quiet Pianos (Exclusive B-Side)” MP3
– Aimee Mann “She Really Wants You - Live at Largo (Exclusive)” MP3
– Bloc Party “Banquet” MP3
– Beck “He’s a Mighty Good Leader” MP3
– Yo La Tengo “Sugarcube” MP3
– Arcade Fire “Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)” MP3
– Decemberists “Engine Driver” MP3
– Ani Difranco “Studying Stones” MP3
– The Strokes “Last Nite” MP3
– Alison Krauss “The Lucky One” MP3

That’s some pretty good stuff, if you ask me. The one catch (not a big one): you have to login first to download the free files.

[via BoingBoing]

Happy Earth Day, everybody! Today, you can celebrate Earth Day by planting some new trees, using less water, or even buying a hybrid car.

Let’s see how others are celebrating…

Oops, what bad timing — the House of Representatives greenlighted an environment-choking energy bill just in time for Earth Day:

On the eve of the 35th anniversary of the first Earth Day, the House of Representatives has passed a grossly porkified energy bill that doles out billions in subsidies to fossil-fuel industries, shortchanges alternative energy and efficiency initiatives, and indemnifies makers of the gasoline additive MTBE against liability for groundwater contamination. And this time the bill may actually have a chance of passing in the Senate, perhaps as early as next month, after years of stalemate.

Okay, so the House doesn’t get the spirit of Earth Day. CBS News reminds us of the thousands of tons of computer waste that no one is recycling:

When Earth Day dawned in 1970, optimistic environmentalists predicted emerging technologies would help reduce the nation’s reliance on coal, oil, insecticides and other pollutants.

But 35 years later, a big part of the problem appears to be technology itself.

Tons of computers, monitors, televisions and other electronic gizmos that contain hazardous chemicals, or “e-waste,” may be poisoning people and ground water.

We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? But don’t get discouraged. There are solutions to help clean up the planet. Earth Day is your yearly reminder to take action — plant trees, start community computer recycling programs, or investigate alternative energy.

If everyone takes a stand, then we can make a difference. Try it, it works.

Don’t worry, Daily Show fans, host Jon Stewart won’t be switching from fake news to real news anytime soon.

No CBS News for Stewart:

If there were ever serious consideration of giving the CBS Evening News anchor chair, or one of the chairs, to comic Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Central’s Daily Show, Stewart put the kibosh on it on Thursday’s Access Hollywood.

“That is not happening,” Stewart says. “The news can use a lot of things, but I don’t think I’m one of them, so I’ll stick with what I’m doing. So that is a definite no.”

But Stewart did leave the door open a crack, if only a wisecrack. “If they add comedy, then it’s a whole other thing,” he said. “Come to think of it, they might have already added comedy.”

Don’t worry if you didn’t hear Stewart was being considered for Dan Rather’s seat. It seems that CBS President Les Moonves started the rumor, since he still has no idea who they want to lead CBS News in the future. (Not that ABC is having it any easier.)

But, yes, it would have been really funny to see Jon Stewart in the Evening News anchor chair.

That’s the end of Pope Watch 2005. Wasn’t that fast? Two days and we have a new pope!

Most people thought the Cardinal’s conclave would last for at least the 5 days that the last few lasted. But alas, 3 voting sessions and 2 days later, we have a new pope.

And the new pope is (drum roll please…) Cardinal John Ratzinger. A priest since 1951, Ratzinger is the Dean of the College of Cardinals, and considered a staunch-Conservative of the Catholic Church.

He decided to take the name Pope Benedict XVI. Pope Benedict is the first German pope in a thousand years. The rest were mostly Italians, with the exception of the late Polish Pope John Paul II.

Watching the white smoke rise from the chimney and the church bells ringing, I realized that no matter what type of pope Ratzinger turns out to be, he’s the pope for (likely) the next 10+ years.

The crowds cheering as Pope Benedict XVI emerged were ecstatic and hundreds of thousands in number.

So, what is the world’s reaction to the selection of Pope Benedict XVI? There’s a lot of people talking today — about his background and his role as “enforcer” for the Church.

The Chicago Tribune has a fascinating look into Ratzinger’s life and his role in the Church, Pope Benedict XVI’s reputation doesn’t match his personality, many say. We’ll see how he takes on the role of pope.

RELATED: Trey Jackson has the MSNBC video of Pope Benedict XVI emerging on the balcony online.