This is an audio product, not for contraception.

March 18, 2005

Now there are many fine products from China that I enjoy — General Tso’s Chicken and fireworks included — but sometimes Chinese products lose something in the translation.

Take for instance, this product called “Ondomusic Chocolate” — only $4.80 — at a Chinese online retailer called The Sampson Store.

Ondomusic chocolate: Not for contraception. The photo of the product appears to be a CD, and it also says, “How to use: Insert it in a CD player,” which seems a bit obvious to me.

Here’s the part that’s lost in translation, from the next part of the description:

Warning:

1. This is an audio product, not for contraception.
2. Not for a person under 18.
3. Some part of the music is very exciting, stop playing it in case of any physical disorder.
4. This audio product is not suitable for people suffering a heart disease.
5. You can reuse a music condom but not others.

Uhhh, okay, what just happened? Looking around the site a bit more it looks like The Sampson Store is a Chinese online condom store. But still, if people are trying to use a CD for contraception, this world has a lot more problems than I’m aware of!

Luckily, warning #5 is there to set people straight. Of course, if some guy is trying to use the CD for contraception, and misses warning #1, then he’s going to find himself in even worse shape than trying on a CD for contraceptive purposes.

Take these monkeys into the bedroom, for only $15. Now that's lost in translation. Anyway, if you’re feeling daring, you might click around to check out some of the other offerings that actually are contraceptives, but be ready for similar roughly translated blurbs:

The music can fill your room with exotic air particles.

Now your love life is not the old one before!

With 4 times the ordinary amount of jelly, it is definitely your choice of condom.

One of their best sellers has got to be these condoms with cartoon monkeys on them [check out the photo above and via the link]. Now that’s lost in translation!

[via Misohoni]

One Response to “This is an audio product, not for contraception.”

La Idler Says:
March 24th, 2005 at 3:18 AM
Hilarious! I’m going to blog about this and am letting you know as I’ve disabled trackbacks to prevent spam.